Chart Music #27: May 6th 1982 – We Form Like Voltron, And KGA Is The Head

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The latest episode of the podcast which asks: has there ever been a Good Bates?

The year is 1982, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, and the world is waiting for England. Actually, no – what the world is waiting for is for Tomorrow’s World to piss off, because this episode of The Pops is a bit special. No less than three football teams have been hitting the BBC bar all afternoon and rubbing a manky-jumpered shoulder with the Pop Elite and partake in an unforgettable half-hour-and-a-bit of flag-waving, scarf-brandishing, dirge-chanting palaver.

It’s not all footybollocks, though: Junior and Patrice Rushen get danced at by Zoo wankers. Original Junglists Tight Fit pretend to be Abba. Angry-yet-penitent Jim Diamond enters the fray. Bananarama get a leg-up by their mates Fun Boy Three. And Paul McCartney delivers a message to Racism: You Can Do One Right Now Please. And there’s an actual war on. And fucking hell, it’s Ken Baily!

Simon Price and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham for a snuffle at the gusset of the Union Jack shorts of 1982, breaking off on such tangents as time travel-assisted infanticide, using members of the 1982 Brazil squad to insult girls you don’t like, the incredible England 1982 LP, seeing Him Out Of Tight Fit in a Welsh nightclub, and how to make your own bra out of the contents of your pants drawer. This time – more than any other time – the swearing is outstandingly prolific.

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