Here Comes Quizm #5

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It’s BACK! The greatest music quiz in the world, hand-crafted by quizular artisans in Nottingham, The Cradle Of Pop, with assistance off their Nana. 42 questions! 7 rounds! Swearing! Download what you need to, grab a pen, pick out a suitably disgusting team name, and spend some time in the pub of your mind, Pop-Crazed Youngsters…

HERE IS THE ANSWER SHEET

HERE IS ROUND ONE – THE PICTURE ROUND

AND HERE IS THE DOWNLOAD LINK

Chart Music #50: March 21st 1996 – The Movement That Wouldn’t Feel The Benefit

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The latest episode of the podcast which asks the question: What was David Stubbs doing while the Rainforest was falling?

It’s our half-century. Pop-Crazed Youngsters, but we’re not making a fuss about it, bar the raising of the bat and a nod to the stands before returning to the job of whacking at a random episode of Top Of The Pops. And oh dear: this particular slice of Thursday evenings past comes at us during the even more devastating Second Wave of Britpop, with Steve Lamacq and Jo Whiley playing the roles of Peelie and Janice.

Musicwise, we’re fully into the Ric Blaxill era, so expect a morbid carousel of Proper Music played on Proper Instruments, with a smattering of past-it Eighties sorts thrown in, and all mixed together with an offensive distain for the charts. Rick Witter may or may not be wearing a Tena underneath his Martin Fry suit. Lionel Richie’s head is lowered into a Desperate Dan beard. Prince Naseem Hamed pitches up with Kaliphz to remind us that dance music was somehow still going in the mid-Nineties. Menswear bring along a string section. Oh God, it’s Madonna again. Celine Dion wafts about a circus putting in no graft whatsoever. Take That offer up the most half-arsed swan song in musical history, and – finally – Oasis enter the Chart Music arena.

Simon Price and Neil Kulkarni join Al Needham for a bit of Gay Exchange-advert-dancing upon the ashes of ’96, veering off on such tangents as going into the off-licence in Napoleonic headjoy, stripping in front of someone off Coronation Street, being a Lion Bell-End, bum-rushing the Camden KFC, being made by a Manic Street Preacher to dance to the Ramadan No.1 of 1974, the Horseshoe Of Shame, and a rate and quality of swearing that times like this demand.

Part 1: Preamble
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Part 2: Shed Seven, Oasis
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Part 3: Madonna, Menswear, Lionel Richie, Celine Dion
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Part 4: Garbage, Kaliphz feat. Prince Naseem, Take That, TOTP2
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Here Comes Quizm #4

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It’s a bit late, but it’s still the greatest music quiz in the world that’s been made in Nottingham by someone who usually does a podcast about old episodes of Top Of The Pops. It’s the usual bill of fare, Pop-Crazed Youngsters: 42 questions, 7 rounds, an old woman on an organ, and some shouting and swearing. Tuck in, why don’t you?

HERE IS THE ANSWER SHEET

HERE IS ROUND NUMBER ONE – THE PICTURE ROUND

AND HERE IS THE DOWNLOAD LINK

We’re editing Chart Music #50 now, so there may be another delay on the next quiz, but you never know…

Here Comes Quizm #3

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Oh yes – the music quiz that puts the TRAINERS to the ANUS is BACK. You know the drill: 42 questions, seven rounds, and an elderly woman throwing down on a Bontempi organ, put together and fired out by the host of the world’s greatest podcast about old episodes of Top Of The Pops. TUCK IN, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!

HERE IS THE ANSWER SHEET

HERE IS ROUND NUMBER ONE – THE PICTURE ROUND

AND HERE IS THE DOWNLOAD LINK

Here Comes Quizm #2

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Oh yes; back again, and now rolling every week until all this bollocks is sorted out, comes the pub quiz that doesn’t need a pub. It’s the same format as before, Pop-Crazed Youngsters: an hour-long, seven-round, 42-questioned music quiz that you can cheat at if you like, as there aren’t any prizes. All we ask is that you do not spoiler any of the answers in the comments section, while you’re bragging about points you actually got. Have at it!

HERE IS THE ANSWER SHEET

AND HERE IS ROUND ONE – THE PICTURE ROUND

MP3 DOWNLOAD LINK

And don’t forget: if you’re throwing money at us on Patreon, you get this three days earlier…

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BONUS: Here Comes Quizm – the Chart Music Pub Quiz

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When Al isn’t doing Chart Music – the world’s greatest podcast about old episodes of Top Of The Pops – he’s in assorted Nottingham pubs barking questions at folk. He can’t do that at the moment, so he’s taking it out on the Pop-Crazed Youngsters in an hour-long, seven-round, 42-questioned music quiz that you can cheat at if you like, as there aren’t any prizes. First thing you need to do is download the answer sheet and pic round…

HERE IS THE ANSWER SHEET

AND HERE IS ROUND ONE – THE PICTURE ROUND

MP3 DOWNLOAD LINK

This is going to be a weekly event while all this lockdown mither is going on, and the lovely people who throw money at us on Patreon will be getting it before everyone else.

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Subscribe to us on iTunes here. Support us on Patreon here.

Chart Music #49: January 7th 1982 – Yellow Hurll

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The latest episode of the podcast which asks: would you treat YOUR kids to a day out at Flick Colby’s Zoo?

We’re returning to one of our favourite years for music television discussion, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, but if you think it’s another Eighventies splurge, think on; that era is not only officially dead, but its corpse is being gleefully stepped upon by assorted Pineapple dance studio chaff. Peter Powell – when he’s not doing the Running Man – takes us through a chart which is coming out of hibernation after the Xmas truce, and what a battered selection box it turns out to be.

Musicwise, hmm: Zoo have their coming-out party, which involves a BDSM Cossack Human Centipede. Alton Edwards overdoes it with the Jheri Curl activator and fucks up his expensive jacket. There’s an appalling video of Foreigner in ‘action’. The pace picks up with Meat Loaf and Cher copping off with each other and the introduction of Romo Ralph Wiggum, but then The Mobiles forget to top themselves up. Shakatak. A bodybuilder with an eyepatch for pants makes an accidental Nazi salute at Peter Powell. Vangelis self-isolates with nine synths. The Number One Single reminds us how good things used to be. The Zoo Wankers desecrating Madness shows us how bad things are going to get.

Sarah Bee and Neil Kulkarni join Al Needham for an extensive tear-down of the first week of the Eighties Proper, veering off on such tangents as regional ITV, the humbling of Communism in Sneinton Market, mysterious greasy stains on bus windows, how 50% of Chart Music bonded over the Bummer’s Conga in Bristol in 1995, and why hiding cock photos under your housemate’s pillow isn’t the done thing. Probably even more swearing than usual.

Part 1: Preamble
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Part 2: Philip Lynott, Foreigner, Alton Edwards
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Part 3: Meat Loaf, Mobiles, Shakatak
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Part 4: Jon & Vangelis, Human League, Madness
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Full episode
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Chart Music #48: January 24th 1980 – Imagine If Charles Manson Had Seen This

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The latest episode of the podcast which asks: Matchbox – big elderly Ted-racists, or just really keen on The Dukes Of Hazzard?

It’s a long-overdue return to the Pic n’ Mix counter of TOTP, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, and this time we’ve pulled out a plum from the early days of the new decade, which is now FORTY BASTARD YEARS AGO. Mike Read has been quarantined to the balcony, resplendent in a clankening of badges, and he is poised to drop an episode shot through with Eighventies goodness.

Musicwise, well: Trevor Horn and Geoff Downes mark time before going off to be Stunt Jon Anderson and Rick Wakeman. The Nolans drop the Staying Alive of Mum-Disco.  Legs and Co have a bit of a float-around to the last knockings of Beardo Disco. Bob Geldof looks like Richard E Grant playing Rambo. Suzi Quatro has a whinge about her Walter the Softy-like boyfriend. David Van Day shoots John Lennon in the back a full eleven months before Mark Chapman gets the chance. The Specials con you into thinking every gig you’re going to go to when you grow up is going to be an incredible experience.  Sheila and B Devotion (and more importantly, Chic) kick in the afterburners, and we get the First New Number One Of The Eighties.

Simon Price and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham for a comprehensive dismantling of early ’80, veering off on such tangents as Space Oppression, DAAANGERFREAKS, caravan warehouse-owning lions, The Great Jumpsuit Shortage, another examination of I’m Your Number One Fan, Nazi double basses, and Colleen Nolan’s unfortunate teenage crush. ALL THE SWEARING.

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Chart Music #47: 25th December 1977 – The Last Supper Of Showaddywaddy

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A sort-of-festive episode of the podcast which asks: Jesus, why do we always leave this to the last minute instead of doing it in August like everyone else?

It’s the arse-end of the year, and you know what that means, Pop-Crazed Youngsters: another ram of our hands into the Quality Street tin of a Xmas TOTP. This year, it’s 1977, which means that Noel Edmonds has taken one of his suits that all look the same out of the wardrobe – but this year he’s joined by Kid Jensen, in full Stylistics clobber. No trifle-related interplay this year, then, but it’s quadruple overtime for the Top Of The Pops Orchestra, who have stashed a dozen or so Party Sevens under their chairs to keep them going, and Team ATVland (combined age: 19) are sulking that they can’t hook their Binatone Pong to the telly, mornging that their Ricochet Racers isn’t much cop, and leafing through the 1978 Starsky and Hutch annual and dreaming of chocolate pancakes respectively.

There were some astonishing singles that came out in ’77, but musicwise, and bar a couple of exceptions, this is your Nana’s Top Of The Pops. Showaddywaddy pretend to have a futuristic buffet. Some kids are bussed into White City to wave a tassel on a stick (or just the stick). David Soul’s head floats in space. Johnny Mathis pops up again. You can hear Kenny Rogers’ arse as he lowers it onto a wicker bar stool. And oh God, it’s Manhattan Transfer. But here come Abba, Space, Denice Williams, Hot Chocolate, and the return of Floyd Flipper as a fruity Santa! Oh, and there’s Paul McCartney’s Living Shortbread Tin and Bing Crosby. It’s a massive, sixteen-song evisceration, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, done with the care and attention you’ve come to expect from the little elves of Chart Music.

Neil Kulkarni and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham for a long, hard stare at the winners circle of 1977, complete with such tangents as the Showaddywaddy Hanky Code, Lobbing It Out on Channel 4, assuming French is just English you don’t know yet, the gang war between Brighouse and Rastrick, Space Crumpet, when it’s time to finally let go of the Radio Times Xmas issue, and a chance to see someone from Chart Music looking like a massive potato on telly very soon. Merry Swearing!

Part 1: Preamble
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Part 2: Showaddywaddy, Deniece Williams, Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, The Old Sailor
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Part 3: Manhattan Transfer, Hot Chocolate, David Soul, Abba, Space, Johnny Mathis
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Part 4: Stevie Wonder, Kenny Rogers, Baccara, Wings, Bing Crosby
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Chart Music #46: 17th December 1987 – Mission Accomplished, Agent King Cole

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The latest episode of the podcast which asks: why didn’t they let Simon Bates do Top Of The Pops USA, just for a laugh?

We’re out of the Critics’ Choice series, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, so it’s time to grasp the fly-encrusted and whiffy end of the Eighties Stick. It’s a Thursday evening one week before Xmas in 1987, and your panel are a) in a Soho pub, chucking their musical-journalistic weight about, b) trapped in a bingo hall in Nottingham being handled like a piece of meat by randy octogenarians, and c) sprawled out on a rug in Yorkshire, with a garter snake wrapped around their glasses, waiting to be dazzled by the life-affirming beauty of Pop. Two of these people made the right choice that night.

Musicwise, this is a heavily adulterated, gelled-up, suity, unwiped arse of an episode, with only a couple of standouts. Mike Read and Gary Davies pretend to be mates. Wet Wet Wet attempt to do True and fail. Mel Smith’s attempt to encourage kids to hide in fridges is denied by the BBC. Mick Hucknall – leader of the Kennyist band in Pop – reminds us he can sing a bit. Nat King Cole cock-blocks Rick Astley. We finally get to see a bit of Top Of The Pops USA. And Kirsty and Shane and Neil and Chris ride in to save the day. None of these people are The Young Gods.

David Stubbs and Sarah Bee join Al Needham for a rummage through the Quality Street tin of Xmas 1987, and – as always – the detours and tangents are manifold, including what it was like to work at Melody Maker in the Laties, how to buy a shark in Yorkshire, the lack of a decent wine cellar at Dingwalls, the pointlessness of CD Walkmans, the annual F-word debate, how Marti Pellow ruined Stars In Their Eyes, and an open apology to the Pogues for a 33 year-old LP review. Now available in Fun-sized portions, and full of rich, chunky swearing.

Part 1: Preamble
Download

Part 2: Wet Wet Wet, Mel (Smith) & Kim (Wilde), Simply Red
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Part 3: The Pogues & Kirsty McColl, Level 42, Nat King Cole
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Part 4: Belinda Carlisle, Pet Shop Boys, Madonna
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